Saturday, December 20, 2008

Understanding Manifesting (Part II)

(Continues from Understanding Manifesting - Part I Below)

     I want to reinforce the groundwork of my ‘exploration’. My first memory in life, I ‘woke up’ drawing a whale at around the age of four. I had always thought of myself as an artist – the vision of being a professional artist had been engrained in me my entire life. I could see the goal and mentally experience the goal – all of the requisites of ‘manifestation’. Year after year, I would achieve juried shows, art awards and other recognition from grade school, through high school, college and beyond. But these achievements cost money. For example, getting into a prestigious juried show means you have to spend money to make a piece. Actually it is lots and lots of work of which you select one or two. Then there is entry fee with no guarantee of getting in. If you get in, you have to get the work there and back – the larger the work the more cumbersome that is. Odds are against a work winning a cash prize or being sold. This is similar, I imagine, in sports like tennis or golf, where for many of the competitors you are paying and paying to be in play.
     When I stumbled on Napoleon Hill, it was an audio CD. Listening, I started to realize that my whole life structure was built around an idea that I could not actually make a living from art. It was very subtle to me (although not to a trained observer). I had in my mind a ‘model’ that I would do ‘real’ work and this income would allow me to keep making art. I’m not just talking about having one job – I’m talking about doing all kinds of things like getting involved in real estate, pursuing other degrees to enhance my salary – in essence, a lot of activity other than going straight at the process of being a professional artist. I kept doing one job after another to be able to afford creating art. This was exhausting, distracting and counterproductive. One key idea I learned from listening to the Napoleon Hill tapes was the concept ‘faith.’ I had not heard it explained quite so well. Faith, as I now began to understand, believes that if you give yourself to your passion you cannot fail. That the universe is in fact ‘designed’ to provide every tool one needs to achieve whatever one commits to and believes, positive or negative. When I finished listening, I remember looking interior to my own thought processes and realizing there was the obstacle. I thought in my mind that I would abandon all other pursuits and ‘give’ myself to my art completely. This process was so abrupt and immediate as to be unbelievable in retrospect. That very day, I received a small, non-descript e-mail posting ‘firehouse looking to honor four men lost on 9/11.’ I read that posting, and the image of this project in its completion poured into my mind. When I replied I had little idea that this ‘manifestation’ process would lead to the deepest, most sustained pain I had ever experienced. That it would shatter my previous understanding of the world and myself. In this process I began to see that ‘manifesting’ didn’t really mean creating a laundry list of all the things I think would thrill and then they would appear. Rather, manifesting, at least for me, began to mean participating in the process of discovery and allowing things to come into my life. It was then that true ‘miracles’ began to occur. [To be continued…]

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5 Comments:

At December 20, 2008 at 8:22 PM , Blogger Lisa said...

I really appreciate the depth you have in expressing yourself.
Yes, it those beliefs we have on an unconscious level that until we explore as you say will continue to bind us to the old. Napoleon Hill I love this quote of his which I have posted on my frig.
"Go as far as you can and when you get there you will be able to see further."
It seems very simple and it is when we let go all of the distractions that perhaps are created by our resistence (ego) of standing in our greatness
Great Piece Robert!

 
At December 21, 2008 at 1:39 AM , Blogger Danny Brown said...

In essence, are you saying that we have our paths planned out? As in, everything happens for a reason? What if one miniscule thing changed that path? A missed bus or train; a late business meeting; an oversleeping because an alarm fails?

Interested to see where you go with this and how it opens up.

 
At December 21, 2008 at 2:50 PM , Blogger lulu said...

more more...

 
At December 21, 2008 at 6:27 PM , Blogger Karen said...

Your insight that you had grown up with the belief that you could not make a living with your passion really hit home with me. I am facing a similar path - thanks for sharing!

 
At December 21, 2008 at 8:15 PM , Blogger Robert Girandola said...

Lisa / Danny / Lulu / Karen - Thanks so much for your comments - I'm really interested in the feedback as it's so helpful to piece together the 'puzzle' of life - who we are, what we are meant to do -

Danny - I think there is meaning to everything that comes into your life, good or bad and that if you can endure the moment a look for the meaning amazing things can open up - I hope future updates will reveal this -

Lulu - I'm so happy you're not patient!! :)

Karen - I'm glad that struck a chord - it's really strange and wonderful what happens when we start exploring our own belief system -

 

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