Scraps of Honesty

Hello Everyone -

I know, I know - I haven't posted in a while - practically took January off. There are several reasons for this but perhaps the biggest one might be because Heartsong 'nominated' me to post 10 of my deepest secrets. Honestly, that kind of scared the heck out of me - hmmm, deep secrets published for the world to see? Or really the eight people from my 800 followers on twitter, or the 4 from the 8 in my family - so I have to be totally honest to the 16 people I care most about in the world!! Aaaargh - then maybe they won't like me anymore and then only 3 from twitter and 2 from my family will ever visit my site anymore, then I'll only have five viewers - ok - so you see my dilemma - Thank you Linda, I see the world crashing before my eyes - ok, here goes:

1) The thing that makes me saddest is seeing people who are capable of greatness, trapped by false prisons.

2) I am actually moved to tears when I see someone ignore their false prison, and achieve in spite of any obstacle.

3) I am constantly working on myself, internally, by actively discarding any thought that is not productive or inspiring.

4) I am constantly trying to be more grateful but my goals are so seemingly big that I forget, at times, how blessed I am.

5) I would like to know more artists who talk about free-market capitalism.

6) When I was six I thought I was Jesus Christ. I developed a series of tests to 'prove' if I was or not and I passed all of them handily - I announced my discovery to my mother but she was too busy with all the other kids to notice.

7) I love the smell of oil paint and oil based clay. I've smelled that almost every day of my life since a very young age and I think it would be safe to say, I am addicted to it. Although, I promise - it's a harmless addiction which guarantees I'll be painting for the rest of my life.

8) I don't think Capitalism will take hold until artists understand it. Then it will be ok.

9) My dreams are filled with incredible visions. I dream things like a bee sitting in a throne in the center of a chrysanthemum, crystals that hold all of my memories, architectural wonders beyond anything I've seen with panoramic views of a star lit sky - and yet, until just yesterday a person made me realize I hear nothing in my dreams - not a single sound.

10) I am working on a book - I don't know when it will be ready but it is intended to describe the type of qualities I think are the best hope for happiness and peace. This is an 'awakened' person who realizes that there is no obstacle outside of their own thoughts to achieve whatever they can 'see and believe'. This person has integrated the best of liberal and conservative ideas - they love and support the arts, accept differences in those around them, live life to the fullest with joy as their highest ideal and refuse the idea that government can initiate force - particularly to seize wealth in the name of 'helping'.  I am not original in this idea, but I would like to play a small part in helping manifest a world where fear, force and violence are strange concepts. 

This post is dedicated to Lausen - who fits the description of my deep dark truth #2, is an artist who understands my deep dark truth #8 and has brought me more music in the last two months than I have ever listened to in my whole life, and made me aware of my deep dark glitch #9.  If you ever have the great joy to get to know her, you will be shocked that she lives in a country whose courts and government run counter to every principle of freedom we should cherish but often forget - and yet, she understands the source of our freedoms more thoroughly than anyone I've ever met.  If you can read Spanish - I recommend her site forgottenman.wordpress.com - And her new English site promises to be beautiful - flowerinthesun