Second Guessing

I have to confess that often I struggle with doubt and second guessing. Positive thinking is definitely a full time job. Sometimes an idea will come to me and then I think, no – I shouldn’t do that for this reason or that reason. Regarding making art in particular – the idea visits me that making visual images is not particularly important in the grand scheme of things. There is something beyond positive thinking; however, and that is more accurately described as ‘right’ thinking. It’s funny, the mind is like a chatterbox – it just keeps thinking. Most of the thoughts are not really worth much – particularly the ones that involve limit or inaction. I think about all of the steps that take me places – each one of them ‘scary’ at times, some much more than others. Just the other day I finished a taping called ‘Peace’. I put it up on Imagekind and then I thought, let me send this to a person I know who might appreciate it. Now, it is important to understand, each one of these steps involve doubt and second guessing – should I make the work, investing all that time into it – why am I making it? Does it ‘fit in’ with my other artwork? What is my artwork in general? Would this person want to see it? Why is it even important? These are all just random thoughts associated with ‘the process.’ I did finish it though, and sent the link – ‘right thinking’ is acting in spite of a negative or fear thought. It ‘feels’ different from ‘positive’ thinking in that it isn’t imagining a fantasy world of what would be fun and fantastic – it is a process of looking at negative thoughts as immaterial and unimportant. Within minutes of sending the link, the person called me up – she began crying over the phone and told me how she loves her grandchildren and this reminded her so much of when she would tell them she loves them to the stars and back. It made me realize images are important, that acting on positive thoughts is important – the conversation brought me more ideas to make more images and I realized again how important it is to not second guess.